Invitation Send-Off

We decided that a pretty invitation deserves a nice presentation, so, since we came in under budget for the invites, we had them calligraphed.

When initial calligrapher recommendations were out of our budget, I took to the internet and found Nicole of The Left Handed Calligrapher. She's very nice and super personable, and does an amazing job. As it turns out, Nicole has been featured in SMP and D Weddings, but when I booked her I hadn't heard of her work yet.

Mr. Oyster-the-artist was excited about this. When we went and picked up the finished envelopes, he said, "They're like little pieces of art!" Very cute.

So, check them out! The "font" we chose was Copperplate. I actually liked Spencerian better, but I really wanted the envelopes to be "mailable." I took pictures of this particular set so that I could show them off without revealing where a family or friend lives. Do you know this person?

I think I underestimated the formality of these invitations. Now, with the letterpress and everything, they look very formal. I even had a brief freak-out and called my mother, worried that we had outclassed ourselves with the invitation! My mother said, no, we hadn't, and also pointed out helpfully that it's too late to worry about that now. Thanks, mom!

In between ordering the invitations and sending them, I built our wedding website. Later, I decided that I didn't want it hanging around for all the Internet to see, so I password protected it, creating custom logins for each guest. But with no website card, how would I tell them about it?

We came up with a label system. I bought clear computer labels, and formatted them with each invite's custom username and password. I initially planned to put these on the back of the invitations, so they'd be subtle, but my mom (there she goes again) pointed out that most people won't automatically turn the invitation over, and by the time they get to the computer and see "check your invitation for username/password" they might not have it with them, etc., etc....

So we put it on the outer flap of the inside envelope. When people open the inner envelope, the label will disappear from view and the invitation will still stand on its own. Very clever! (While we are happy with this solution, please tell me I'm not alone in saying that computer labels are a giant pain in the ass.)

Mr. Oyster decided that he wanted to perfectly line up the labels on the envelopes, and came up with a complicated measuring system. I would have just stuck them on there, but I didn't say that, instead thanking Mr. Oyster for making the invitations such a high priority.

This mysterious measuring system involved Post-its.

When he realized I was taking his picture and possibly going to show it to you all, he dissolved into what is perhaps the cutest fit of giggles I've seen in a grown man:

And then he got to work.

Okay, check it out:

It's a dark grey, which matches the back of our outer envelopes (and the invite text). We stuffed, sealed and stamped them, and were ready to go! Does anyone else love those USPS wedding stamps? They just happened to match our envelopes perfectly.

The whole time we were putting these together, we kept lamenting that we didn't have Nicole make us our own envelope set that we could keep. But sure enough, hidden in the bottom of the stack of envelopes, was a nice surprise.

Nicole very sweetly made us our own commemorative invitation envelopes, beautifully addressed to us, and we put an invite in it and decided to put it in our little "wedding keepsake" box. We even put a stamp on it. This way, our kids can look at it one day and say, "Ha, ha, Mom & Dad! It was only $0.61 to mail a 5x7 envelope? Ours cost $20 each!"

The Women

My favorite scene in just about any wedding movie, ever, starts at about 03:00:

For some, weddings call to mind many "father of the bride" type images, but in my family, it's the women that really hold it all together. We are very close knit. Here we are nearly 10 years ago, at my senior piano recital in college. There are four generations represented here. I am in the blue dress. Sadly, my great grandmother (on the far right) died a few years after this picture was taken.

My mother and grandmother visited me a few months ago, and I got a chance to take them to the wedding venue. We walked around, me showing them where things would be, and Mom and Grandmother suggesting things along the way. At the same time it was an almost out-of-body experience, as I listened to the three of us excitedly chattering, visualizing. Three generations of women, planning a wedding. One day, me and Mom and my daughter will do this. It is universal, and timeless, and it has been happening forever, and here it is, my turn. I think there is something magical about this.

I love that scene of the Greek Wedding movie because it speaks to that moment that is at once deeply personal and universal; that is at once the past and present; to the bonds we do or don't share with our mothers; to the idea that women have been going through this rite of passage forever; to what it means to be a wife and a woman and a mother.

Being a bride, in this society and in many others, means accentuating everything there is about femininity, womanhood, and application of past traditions into your own future role as "wife." There is usually some internal struggle involved, some confrontation, and hopefully some thought given to the women who have gone through the exact same thing one or two generations ago. I credit the women in my family for so much of who I am, and I think that on my wedding day, I will represent all of them when I stand at the altar.

This idea has been even more significant for me this week, as my grandmother was admitted to the hospital with some very serious health issues. While she is doing better, we aren't sure at all whether she'll be able to travel to the wedding.

I was looking for some pictures of her and I remembered this one from our engagement party. I call it "All My Moms." My mom is on the left, grandmother in the middle, and, as I am now proud to add another "mom" to my family, Mr. O's mother on the right. She had just finished telling an embarrassing story about him, and we were all laughing.

In the background are Mr. O and his father, standing around looking alike, no doubt talking about those laughing women on the other side of the room. Well, what do they expect? When we are not thinking about our timelessness or strengthening the bonds of womanhood, that is what we do! (ha!)

Becoming a wife means many things to many people. How are you sorting out what it means for yourself? How similar is your version of "wife" to those of the women you have grown up with? What was your "Greek Wedding woman" moment?

Mr. O, the fashion plate

A while back, Mr. Oyster and I set out to look for something for him to wear in the wedding. We visited a local tux shop, but all the tuxes there just reminded me of high school prom.

Part of the problem was that Mr. O just didn't know what he wanted to wear. Personally I imagined getting him a modern-cut stylish tux, or even a nice slim cut black suit. He is tall and thin and I thought it would look nice. We even tried on a few of these at Macy's. Since Mr. O doesn't currently own a suit, we were considering purchasing one.

But Mr. O had his own ideas. In a direct contrast to the dress drama I've endured, he looked over my shoulder at the computer one day, took a look at one photograph, and said, "That looks nice. I want to wear that." And then he was done. I mean, how easy is that?! Here's the picture he saw, from our our photographer.

Handsome, isn't he? A nice, classic, peak lapel tux, with no bowtie. So, with this in mind, we set out to find it.


Our planner recommended a local store (as opposed to one of the ubiquitous national chains, I'm talking to you, Mr. "We guarantee it"), and they had exactly what we needed. It is a very charming shop, very airy and light and comfortable. They even have a dog that stays with them at the store. Her name is Lucy:

We found the tux Mr. O was looking for, and the lady (I forgot her name, she was very nice) helped him try it on.

I have to admit, he looks very handsome! It was surreal seeing him in a tux, one because he doesn't wear suits, and also it was like, "Wow, he's going to marry me wearing this tux!" It was pretty cool. I think Mr. O thought so, too.

Our last stop of the day was to Mr. O's favorite shoe store to pick up some dress shoes. We're still working on this part.

And that's it! Can you believe how easy men's fashion is?

To rest our rings on

I've previously written about my attempt to make a beautiful, Martha Stewart ring pillow. At least, the flower part.

The flower still isn't finished, but I did finish the part of the project I totally understand: the pillow!

Sure, I could have just bought a pillow somewhere, but I was at Jo-Ann fabrics with Mr. Oyster, when he mentioned the remnants section. Despite my owning a sewing machine and actually knowing how to sew, Mr. Oyster is the one that visits Jo-Ann quite a bit, usually for his art projects or for his students. How could I not have remembered the remnants?! And so, this is the story of how I made a ring pillow for about $5.

I found a 23" scrap of some cheap muslin, bought a little bag of fiberfill, and scraps of some beautiful mauve pin-tucked satin. And did I mention... the remnants were half off that day!

The pillow itself was the easiest part. I used a piece of printer paper folded in a square as a "pattern," and sewed this sucker together, turned it inside out, stuffed it with fiberfill, and basted. Et voila! A pillow. Here it is with a pair of fabric scissors on it so you can see the size; it's an 8 1/2" square (because that is the width of printer paper).

Now, on to the pillowcase. I didn't use a pattern for this, either; I just turned the satin inside out, put the pillow on it, and drew with a pencil. I used two pieces of fabric for the back, because I wanted the pillowcase to have a pocket. Also, having a removable pillowcase will make it easier when I attach the Martha Stewart flower.

So, I put the pillow in the case, and there you go! I tried valiantly to match the pintucks; I failed miserably but guess what -- no one will know. I love my $5 remnant pillow! (Sorry for the different colors; it's irridescent and a trick of the lighting.)

I am proud of this pillow, mostly because (a) I didn't plan on making it, but it turned out to be so unexpectedly easy and (b) I love a good deal.