Shopping with the Moms

After I decided to have my dress made, and after meeting two unsuitable seamstresses, I was lucky enough to discover the resource that is Fabrique! Fabrics. I went there this summer, met the owner, and was sold! Problem was, I wasn't quite ready to decide what dress I wanted to wear.

Fast forward to this fall, when my mother and grandmother visited me from out-of-state. True, I would never have that "trying-on-dresses" feeling with my mother there, but this turned out to be even more fun.

My mother is a third generation sewing enthusiast. She learned the craft from my great-grandmother, with whom she spent her summers as a little girl. My mother made many of the clothes I wore as a kid. Old Christmas ornaments, many of my baby clothes, a quilt, and a Christmas dress that I remember being made from a pattern my mom cut out of paper bags. Eventually, we moved too many times and my mother remarked that buying clothes became cheaper than sewing, so I haven't seen her pull out her old Bernina in quite a while.

But I have many great memories of sewing with my mom. The picture shows the sewing machine my mom used, a Bernina 830 (circa 1979 or so -- the photo is from the manual). She'll be happy to emphasize to you that it "still works, thank you very much!."

When I told her about Fabrique, that it was a couture fabric store that had an entire section dedicated to bridal fabrics, she was so excited! So I made sure to take her and my grandmother, and I felt like I had two experts on hand to help me in this first stage of bridal dress shopping.

The store has a good selection of bridal fabrics; almost any bridal dress fabric you've heard of is there: silk satin, silk dupioni, shantung, mikado, and even a few high quality poly-satins if I remember correctly. Here's my mom checking them all out:

And here's my beautiful grandmother, looking on (and surrounded by trim):

But my favorite is the lace. Lace!!! I don't want an all-over beaded lace dress (although I think they're beautiful), but I want to incorporate lace in some way. The laces at Fabrique range from $50 to over $400 per yard. Some are domestic, some are imported, but every one of them is stunning. Here, the store owner shows a hand-beaded lace, with crystals attached. You just have to click these to see the beautiful lace up close!

Yep, you read the price tag correctly. Moving on...

And this is the one I bought!

I bought some trim, and the beads happen to be nearly identical to this lace. Perfect!

My grandmother's hands rest next to my iPod. I bring that thing everywhere -- it's so helpful to be able to show vendors exactly what I want. I even have some runway videos on my iPod; it's indispensable. If you look carefully, you can see one of my sketches in the foreground.

Also in this picture, my grandmother is wearing her original wedding set. I wish I'd taken a better picture. She recently found this after it had been packed away. The set is over 50 years old, as it was given to her by my late grandfather when they married. How sweet!

Despite wanting to wear a matte fabric like silk dupioni or radzimir (if I could ever find it), I ended up choosing a smooth, lustrous silk satin. Silk satin is responsible for beautiful gowns like these (click to see the fabric in motion):

Along with the fabric, I chose the beaded lace, and the matching trim. My grandmother decided to buy the dress fabric for me as a birthday present! I am so humbled by this and hope the dress is as beautiful as we envision it.

Dress Developments: Totally Unexpected

I scheduled a meeting with the seamstress this week, but in a moment of bravery I decided that I wanted to try one last time to try on actual wedding dresses.

The last time I went to a bridal salon was in the summer. But I was armed with a new determination and a more fearless attitude. I'd heard good things about Alfred Angelo, and thought I'd give them a try.

The shop was a long drive away, and I never visit this particular city without letting one of my best friends, who lives there, know I'm in the area. When I called her 30 minutes prior to the appointment  (that I'd just made) to tell her I'd be in the area, it turns out she was free for the day and came right down to the salon to shop with me!

The woman on the phone was extremely helpful and friendly when I spoke to her and asked about sizes, so I was very encouraged. We went in, and the saleslady asked me what styles I wanted to try on. I told her that I'd never been to a salon where I had more than one or two options, so I told her the style I thought would work for me. But I fully intended to take the advice from Weddingbee brides, who always say to try on things you don't think you'll like, so I told her I was open to anything!

And now for the necessary warning:

source

First, I tried on a dress that I thought was a sure thing: Alfred Angelo's 1148. Asymmetrical draping, off-the-shoulder... everything that had been recommended for a bride of my shape. Here it is:

Whoops! Can we say, "too much fabric?" So much for the draped look. And the off-shoulder neckline does frame my face nicely... but it makes my shoulders look even more sloped. The first word that came to mind when I saw this was "sausage." What a nightmare. Moving on.

We tried on a couple more, mostly dresses that I won't picture here or I pulled off as soon as I put them on. I just wasn't sure... until we tried on this one, the 2024. I'm not planning to wear any color with my dress, but the sash can be changed. Here it is:

Here's where it gets interesting: I always said I'd *never* wear strapless. But it's quite the improvement over the 1148. My shoulders get to show whatever shape they have, my upper back isn't nearly as "puffy" as I thought, and I like the clean, plain top. It's a little "princessy," though. Let's try another one!

Here's the 830. Simple and clean, and the fabric is very pretty in person; the satin almost looks like dupioni. I like this one the best. Keep in mind this dress is one or two sizes too small.

Hey, look! I have a shape! Eri took some pictures with my camera, and you can see how luminous the fabric is. I was pleasantly surprised; the dresses and customer service were well above my expectations for Alfred Angelo (sorry to any AA fans out there, I truly had no idea)!

Cool! I have a profile, even.

So, I came away from the shopping trip and learned a few things.
- I am not worried about strapless anymore. I like my shoulders; it's my arms that I'm self conscious about. But my arms will look the same whether my dress has straps or not. So, who cares?
- NO DRAPING of any kind. Plain & simple!
- A wrap-style top will help divide my giant bustline.
- Waist definition is great!
- A plain A-line skirt looks *awesome*.
- I still want to have my dress made. Even if the 830 were ordered in my size, it's not quite perfect for me. 

I'm so glad I made those phone calls, both to the salon and to my friend (who took all these pictures). I'd always wanted that bridal dress shopping experience, and I finally got it. I was always sad that I couldn't go dress shopping with my mom and expected to go it alone. But I'm so glad my friend was there to take lots of pictures and be encouraging! How awesome is that? Incidentally, she understood exactly how I felt. Two years ago, she also shopped for her wedding dress alone. Her mom lives in Japan, much farther away than mine.

Next up? What will I do with all this knowledge? I meet with the seamstress pretty soon...!

Dress Developments: Reality Hits

So I've been thinking a lot lately about how I want to look at my wedding, and I started doing some research. As it turns out, many of the dresses I thought were a possibility suddenly weren't.

By now, I wonder if every bride hasn't heard of the "bridal sizing shock," but I certainly hadn't until I was a few months into planning. Luckily, many designers include patterns for their dresses up to size 24, but many simply don't go up that far. I knew this, but thought I could get the dress custom sized. But then I started looking at the extra fees! Most of them are not too bad.

I thought this info might be helpful for those just starting out with their dress shopping. When I started shopping, I was a little too intimidated to call around and when I did, often the bridal salon staff didn't know or wasn't sure. I mean, if you're going to squeeze into a too-small dress, you don't want it to be in vain, right?

For a "street size" 24/26/28, here are some designers whose dresses will definitely fit:

Augusta Jones: up to size 30
- only some gowns
- add 45% of purchase price (I hope this is not true)

Alfred Angelo goes up to size 32

Allure bridals: size 32
- no upcharge
- hollow to hem add $50

Anjolique bridal: up to 32

Bonny: size 26/28
- add $60

Casablanca: not sure, custom sizes available for extra charge.

David's Bridal: up to 26
- $100 to $150 extra for sizes 16W-26W

Demetrios: size 26/28
- add $150

Jasmine: size 28, customizable after that
- add $60

Maggie Sottero, up to size 32; past that no charge.

Saison Blanche: size 24/28
- add $40

(Feel free to add to this list in the comments.)

There are only one or two designers in that list whose dresses I was really into. I'm sure several of the top tier designers (eg. Priscilla of Boston, etc.) will make a dress in any size you want, but I haven't looked those up, as those dresses are likely to be over $5,000.

So I'm faced with some choices here.

I could order a dress that costs x amount, and then end up paying nearly twice that with extra fees and alterations, or, I could order a dress that fits, but isn't quite like what I want to wear. That would be okay, too, but perhaps there is another option...?

Anyone else shocked by "bridal" (or "traditional," as they say) sizing? Did it impact your shopping?