Everybody Jump!

Well, early on Mrs. Penguin mentioned a "pink broom" wedding! I call my wedding that because I love pink and I'm going to "jump the broom," as they say. So I figured I should focus on it a little.

Jumping the broom is an optional tradition for African-American weddings. Its origins are a bit uncertain, but its significance is clear.

After the minister has pronounced us "man and wife," and we kiss, and we turn back to the congregation, we'll jump the broom just before we walk back down the aisle. I think it will just be a joyous moment and a great signifier that "we are married." Here's an example that shows exactly that; they jump the broom at about 1:30. Very cute couple!




But this post is more about the broom itself. Although it only appears in the ceremony for an instant, it's symbolic for me and I imagine it will have a prominent place at the front of our wedding album.

I have a vision in my head for this broom, and the feeling that it has to be handmade. It just seems like that type of item. I don't have too many ideas yet, but I do plan to have a basic, "old-looking" straw broom, and decorate it with ribbon, wrap it in a little fabric (maybe some fabric from my wedding dress), and some handmade silk flowers. Here are some pictures:

 

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When it came time to think about it, I was surprised by how emotionally invested I was in this broom. Yes, I'm an American, a Westerner, and in planning a traditional "white wedding" (that term just refers to the dress, by the way) I'm acknowledging that I've absorbed many of society's wedding traditions, and that they resonate with me. But the broom, I guess, is the only tangible evidence we have in the ceremony, the only part that says, "Here is a black woman getting married." I'm very lucky that my fiance, who is white, is as excited about this as I am!

I was also surprised to find myself thinking of it as an heirloom broom. Maybe we'll have a son or daughter who gets married, and wants to jump the broom? Or, in the even nearer future, what if one of my little cousins (I'm the oldest of 8 girl cousins) wants to get married and jump it? The "family broom." What a great tradition!

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Worth a thousand (more) words

Our lovely invitations, chosen by Mr. Oyster, are probably the only thing I've been 100% consistent about throughout this entire wedding planning process.

When it came time to order them, I'd decided that the wording should be simple and formal. Easy, right? I arrived at the shop with all the information in tow (typed up, no less!) and a day later, I got the call.

They wanted to change my invitation wording because it is improper!

Specifically, they want to change my "half past five" to "half after five" and we disagree about the usage of "two thousand ten" vs. "two thousand and ten." (They prefer the latter, by the way.) All my research says that both are acceptable, but it seems that "half after" and "two thousand and ten" are most likely related to British usage and are therefore more formal.

Two things at work here. First of all, I am having a formal wedding, which requires a formal invitation with formal wording. So I get that this is the time to be "correct."

But I wonder if these etiquette rules might just be too obscure for me. Who IN THE WORLD says "half after five"? I've never seen it; every wedding invitation I've seen says "half past." Every invitation also says "two thousand and ten" and since it looks better in print, I might concede that one. I might even write "half after" for the time... but I can just imagine my family calling up saying, "When is the wedding?"

On the other hand, just because large swaths of people don't understand an etiquette rule doesn't mean it's invalid.

We'll see. At this point, the invitation reads:

The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of
[Bride] and [Groom]
[Day] the [nth] of July
two thousand and ten
at half after (?) five in the evening
[Name of place]
[City, State] 

[in the lower right hand corner]:
A reply is requested by the [Day] of [Month]
[website address]

I had originally written, "Please r.s.v.p. by [date], but realized that, while in English, "to r.s.v.p." is a verb or a noun, it's actually a phrase that already contains the word please (Respondez, s'il-vous plait). But most people will read it as a verb, so...

Honestly, I'm surprised that I care so much. But as someone who loves language, loves to write and is interested in what words mean to different people, this is actually kind of fascinating.

Also, I think it's funny how wedding invitations, like so many aspects of the wedding itself, bring out these issues of class and style. I think many wedding disputes we have now are the result of being in different classes, and, at least in the United States, of our society being in sort of a transitional period with different cultures & class systems. I mean, wouldn't this be easier (but so much more boring!) if every member of one family was in the same social class (and thus, had the same expectations for your wedding)? But, thankfully, hardly anyone can say that anymore. Interesting.

*The photo is of Emily Post, who frightens me a little.