The Oyster Wedding: Unveiled

We planned for our portraits to be right after the "getting ready" time, both because we really liked the idea of the "first look," and because, well at least for me, I thought it would be nice to have portraits right after having my hair and makeup done, as opposed to several hours later.

We also decided to do the "unveiling." Since I was not being given away, and I was wearing a veil, I was either going to have to have Mr. Oyster unveil me at the altar (an idea that made me feel weird) or just have it open all the time. So at the last minute, we decided it would be nice for Mr. Oyster to get to do it during our first look. He loved this idea and was looking forward to it. I know this from the many veil-related jokes he made the entire week before the wedding.

When I selected our venue, I took one look at the restaurant and knew that's where I wanted our portraits to be. I love the backgrounds (you'll see more of them in our portraits), and it gets great light!

I let the photographers arrange us and set up the first look however they wanted. I was standing in the window, and Mr. Oyster was to come over to me, and then we would, well, look at each other.



In the category of "weird memories from your wedding day," I remember that the restaurant was supposed to be closed and empty at that time of day, which it was, except for two people sitting behind me having a weird business-y, gossip-y conversation. They were speaking in that way people do when they know they should be quiet, but can't. It was a little weird and I was totally distracted by it... I really wished I could have had a second to gather my thoughts.

But they were, of course, welcome to be in the restaurant; certainly more than me, who was standing around in a wedding dress. I suddenly felt incredibly awkward and very conspicuous.



It didn't last long though, and I eventually started playing around with the veil, which is what I was doing when I first saw Mr. Oyster:




I asked my husband if he remembers what he felt when he was getting ready to see me for the first time, and he said that he was "nervous, and excited, and happy to get married, and interested to see how you were going to look, and you were very beautiful."

The best thing about seeing these pictures is knowing that my husband looks at me like this every day. :)

Oops... I guess we decided not to wait until the altar for our first kiss, either. These might be my favorite two shots from the entire day:






I didn't have too many deep thoughts about this part of the day; I loved seeing Mr. Oyster and thought he looked incredibly handsome, but I think most of the suspense was for him. I thought I might be more emotional, seeing as how our "first look" was really the start of our wedding day, but I was really just very calm and very happy.





Photos by Chicago photographers David Wittig Photography.


Previously:

• A dark and stormy night
• Our Wedding Rehearsal
• The rehearsal dinner
• The Wedding Morning
• Geting Ready

The Oyster Wedding: Get Ready

One of the benefits of having a well-padded schedule is that you have built in room for things like solving crises and "emergency hug" visits to your family. So when I arrived at the venue an hour later than I'd originally planned, it was no big deal.

I remember having a tremendous difficulty trying to park the van in the garage and carry all my things up to the venue. The Tower Club is on the 48th floor of an office building, and since it was a Friday afternoon, there were still some business-y people around. Several of them didn't even try to hide their amusement at the sight of this "live bride walking." It was fun. In one hand, I wheeled my suitcase, and in the other, I held my wedding dress high over my head. I was frazzled, but also feeling very peaceful and happy. I must have been quite a sight!



This is where I get to thank my stylist, Bridgett H. Bridgett has been my hairstylist for four years now, and she has really taken the time to get to know me while also being a little no-nonsense. She quickly de-frazzled me by requiring me to relax and take a break; she got me some water and said it was important that I start the day very calmly. She is brilliant.

I hung up my dress,


and changed into my yellow get-ready robe (I kept my pants on under it; for some reason I suddenly didn't want to be pants-less with all those people who were going to be around me) and we got started. (*Note: Some of these photos are a bit out of order, as Bridgett and I had been working on hair/makeup for an hour or two before the photographers arrived.)



I think the "getting ready" stage was probably the calmest part of the day. For a while, it was just Bridgett and I, and it was pretty quiet.



The men were getting ready in another part of the building. Since their "getting ready" process was soooo much simpler than ours, there was plenty of time to hang around each other and tease Mr. Oyster about marriage.



Mr. Oyster says that it was very quiet while they were waiting for people to arrive and to start getting ready. Here, my cousin works on her knitting (she's amazingly talented -- more on that later).





My two maids-of-honor arrived (that is my whole bridal party, just those two), and I was happy to see them. It was impossible not to react to everyone's happy, anticipatory mood.



Bridgett was in the final stages of hair and makeup. They watched with interest.



When my hair and makeup was done, Bridgett wished me well and said goodbye:



It was time to put on The Dress.

A long, long time ago, I mentioned working with the seamstress, Nazhly Montilla. One of the things included in her service is that she comes to the venue on your wedding day (if it's local) to dress the bride; sort of a final send-off to her work of art, I imagine. I was so happy to have Nazhly there to help. She also took the time to show my maids how to do the bustle.

Nazhly zipped me up (here I am not being indignant, I'm just holding the dress), and it must have been tremendously funny:

Meanwhile, the men were having some trouble figuring out their outfits and accoutrements. Mr. Oyster got a little help:






In the women's room, my maids and Nazhly helped me with my dress and shoes:


And I love this moment where my best friends saw me in my dress the first time:


Apparently the men across the hall were very satisfied at having successfully dressed themselves:


I put on my veil,

and took one more look in the mirror.


....Mr. Oyster got his final touch with help from our planner,


...and we were ready to go.


*Photos by Chicago photographers David Wittig Photography.

Previously:

• A dark and stormy night
• Our Wedding Rehearsal
• The rehearsal dinner
• The Wedding Morning

The Oyster Wedding Morning: It's what you make of it

The morning of the wedding, I woke up early.

Anxious and worried and a little nervous, I was mad at myself for being so susceptible to a melt-down, and for losing the shaper. (For those not initiated, I'm talking about something like this). It was pretty clear at this point that my anxiety about the shaper wasn't really about the shaper, if you know what I mean.

That's when I started thinking, the way I usually do when my mind is running away from me, that I could choose the kind of wedding day we'd have. I mean, yes, the little things matter, but at some point you have to decide how much they matter. Here we'd just had our lovely rehearsal and dinner, and our family had flown in from all over the place just to celebrate with us. We'd planned this wedding as best we could and there was really nothing to worry about anymore.

And if I was worried about being beautiful on my wedding day, well, beauty comes mostly from self-confidence and inner peace, anyway (yes, I know how it sounds, but it's true!). Isn't that what I'd been trying to teach myself for the past eighteen months?

I looked through my RSS feeds, like I do every morning, and came across this lovely video (and you know I'm a sucker for super8 videos!).

Christina and Chris Super 8 from A Bryan Photo on Vimeo.

I looked carefully at this bride, as I had been looking at pictures of brides for the past 18 months. But this time, it wasn't to steal a hairstyle, or admire a dress, or get a reception idea.

Obviously, I don't know who this lovely bride is, but like all beautiful brides, she's most beautiful not because her dress fits perfectly (which it does, and it's lovely), but because she is happy. Something might have gone wrong on her wedding day, but everything looks perfect, as I'm sure it was. And it could be the same for me.

With that in mind, I made a list of all the local plus size shops likely to have shapers, printed a list of their phone numbers and addresses, and headed out the door.

My first stop was the Maddox shop, which had been so helpful to me several months prior.

photo by Edward Berard for White Rock Lake Weekly

They had a shaper in my size! And that's it, problem solved. The end.

In fact, I wonder if this little crisis wasn't exactly what I needed, at exactly the right time. It certainly forced me to face my anxieties, and it gave me an unexpected clarity on the day of my wedding.

With the extra time, I paid a surprise visit to my mom, grandmother and little brother at their hotel. I'd already packed my camera, so sadly, there aren't any photos of this, but it was a fun time.

I knew I wouldn't get to spend much time with them on the wedding day, so it was great to get a few extra hugs before all the wedding-ness began. In fact, that spontaneous trip is probably one of my favorite wedding memories.

Mom and Grandmother gave me some last minute advice, and we reminisced about family weddings. My little brother grabbed a giant hotel pillow and practiced his ring-bearing duties, saying, "I'm going to hold it like this, and I'm going to walk like this, and I'm going to be a gentleman!" It was beyond adorable.

I came home, grabbed a sandwich, and balanced my checkbook for the last time. I have to admit, I was very proud of us -- we did it! We planned this wedding ourselves, we sacrificed, scrimped, saved for 18 months to meet our shared goal, and now, today, here it was. I could have said that about so many things that had occurred over the past year and a half.

I made Mr. Oyster look away while I loaded the dress into the car, and then, for real, it was "go" time.


Previously:

• A dark and stormy night
• Our Wedding Rehearsal
• The rehearsal dinner

The Oyster Wedding Rehearsal Dinner

Almost from the moment we were engaged, we knew we wanted to have our rehearsal dinner at Cafe Veracrúz. It's one of the first places we had dinner when we were dating, and it's some of the best Southern Mexican food around. We love it, and we wanted to take an opportunity to share something of ourselves with our families and friends.



The restaurant has an "intimate" atmosphere (read: small), so it was perfect for our little group. Once we got there and settled down, I spent several minutes sitting with my mom and grandmother.





Here I'm listening as my mom tells us the story of the day I was born. She said she remembered being with her mom when she went into labor, and now here the three of us are again, and I'm getting married. The things moms remember!



I have two maids of honor, and we worked it out that one would give a toast at the rehearsal, and the other gave a toast at the wedding. My MOH here is telling some funny stories about the way we met. Her sexy little dress and sweater are the ones I helped her pick out for her rehearsal dinner a few years ago.





And here is one more DIY project.

Since we were hosting this thing ourselves, we needed a way to keep costs down without telling anyone we were doing that, and also avoiding the awkward "Who will pay?" at the end of the night. I decided to make my own simplified menus, putting a few of the restaurant's best dishes on there, a kids' selection, and dessert selections. There were no prices on them. The restaurant was fine with this, and it simplified things while giving us a way to at least have a budget; a necessity when you are feeding 19 people.

This was an easy project; I just got some blank "computer ready" birthday cards and some pink cardstock (for you Dallas-area ladies, I bought the birthday cards on sale at Paper & Chocolate and the cardstock at Paper Source), and printed them onto the cards with my printer. I changed the font color to a dark green, to match the background in the design there. I attached the cards to the cardstock with a glue stick.

Everyone really liked these... my mother-in-law kept hers as a keepsake. So cute!



We gave out some toasts, and gifts...




and hugs...


and plenty of laughs.








But when we saw this,



... we knew it was time to go. It was almost "go" time -- and I still had a crisis to solve. But in the meantime, we'd had a wonderful evening, and I was feeling much better about everything.




*Photos by the Chicago based photographers David Wittig and Nancy Beale.

Previously:
A dark and stormy night
Our Wedding Rehearsal