One of the things I'm scrambling around doing in these last two weeks is ordering copious amounts of lingerie, because, well, I'm getting married, and... well, you know.
A few years ago, a friend who was getting married called me in an hysterical panic because her future mother-in-law had purchased bridal lingerie for her, and presented it to her at her shower. She was incensed, and embarrassed, and annoyed, and I (and my eardrum) got the brunt of it.
I managed to calm her down and told her that this acknowledgment of the sexual aspect of marriage is very, very common (she is from a country and culture where this is definitely not the case) and we had a pretty good conversation about how people all over the world, particularly women, help each other out when it comes to that whole "marital bedroom" business.
I think that in Western culture, one version of this is the lingerie/bridal shower. I am not having a bridal shower, but I've decided to gift myself with some cute little items that I have started referring to as my little trousseau. It has been fun discovering these items, which, to be honest, I haven't shopped for until now.
I tend to think of marriage as a social rite of passage, so in that context, talking about lingerie and so on doesn't really bother me. I wouldn't talk about it so publicly, though, unless I thought it might be helpful -- I had great difficulty finding cute things in my size, so I thought I'd share what I learned with other brides in the same position as I am.
I'll start with what you might actually see me in -- a getting-ready robe. I like the long white ones that say "bride" on the back, but I couldn't find one in my size -- not even a plain one I could embroider. Actually I did, but I absolutely refused to order anything from a site whose name is something like Big Gals Sexy Stuff -- I kid you not.
Anyway, I gave up on the idea when I saw this post suggesting some colorful robes to get ready in, and I found this flowery set from Roamans. I'll save the gown for later, but I plan to wear this robe while I'm having my hair and makeup done. Unfortunately, it is "in transit" with no scheduled delivery date, so maybe you won't see it after all -- maybe I won't, either!
The go-to place for plus sized sexy stuff is Hips and Curves, but unfortunately, the items there (a) run very small and (b) tend to be fetish items, like corsets and costumes. There are whole treatises on why plus sized women aren't seen as "elegantly sexy" and instead are reduced to fetishes, but that's beyond the scope of this post. Needless to say, I was a little disappointed, although they do have some lovely things, including an entire series based on this beautiful pattern:
I love the delicate pink and lace. In this pattern, you can order this cami set, a short chemise, or a nightgown.
I also discovered that Oscar de la Renta makes plus size lingerie. You can order it via Bare Necessities, Her Room (which has a bunch of other great stuff) or Nordstroms.
I ordered that set (above), called "Modern Elegance," when it was 50% off, and I regret it. To me, it looks so "elegant" as to be boring. I can always use an extra slip, so I'm trying to decide whether to keep it. Here's what I'd really like, but it isn't on sale:
Nordstrom carries it in both black and white. I would say that the sizing of Oscar de la Renta is pretty generous, and their 3x should fit up to a size 26.
Now for my favorites: I had no idea that Betsey Johnson has a line of plus sized lingerie. Unfortunately, the term "plus sized" is misleading, as it only fits up to a 2X which they define as 18-20. I wasn't going to order anything from her, but I happened to see this little beauty for 50% off at a discount store:
It's pink! I was surprised by how well it fit, so I took a chance and ordered this set, which I find absolutely stunning:
I fully admit to being suckered by this shot, which shows the outfit's non plus-sized counterpart.
Isn't that gorgeous? What about that doesn't say, "morning after?"
The robe fits beautifully, but unfortunately the little slip in this set didn't fit me as generously as the pink one. But I didn't send it back, rail against the injustice of the fashion industry or burst into tears -- I got a yard of white organza and my sewing machine, and fixed it right up. It fits beautifully now, and it is the most "bridal" of the lingerie I have ordered. I may be looking forward to wearing this set as much as I am my wedding dress. But I bet you can guess the reasons for that.
Those are my recommendations for elegant, plus sized, "bridal" lingerie. But of course, everyone's tastes are different. Feel free to share your great finds in the comments!
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